The things we do for him

As a collective, us Rob fans are often referred to as crazy fans, but how many of us are actually crazy? Much to their dismay, I think there is a very large portion of RPattz fans who are, how do I put this gently... F***IN' CRAZY! Don't deny it, you know you are.

So WHY are we getting this rep? What did we do to deserve it? Let's play a game. I want you to think about the last time you saw RP, be it in person, on the silver screen, in a magazine - whatever. What feelings came over you? How did you react to them? Now, I'm not going to go throwing accusations around and say every single one of you is off your rocker if you got butterflies and a sudden urge to strip him down and cart him off to a cheap motel, because at the end of the day, that's all they are right? Thoughts. Urges. Dreams. Desires. But as we are about to discover, there are the fans who ignore that little voice screaming inside their ear, and against their better judgement they proceed to do the things that make Rob hide in his hotel while the rest of the world cringes at their stupidity. 

First of all, we all know the classic request of "will you bite me?" Okay, I'm going to stop right there. First of all, he is NOT Edward Cullen! Quit asking the man to bite you! And Tyra Banks, you should be ashamed of yourself. You're supposed to be setting an example, not getting 22 year old men (NOT vampires) to bite your neck.

Next, there's the fans who have this sudden stroke of genius and decide that when they see him, either on foot or in a vehicle, they are going to chase him. To these people, I must ask, what are you expecting to happen if you catch him? Do you think he's going to be happy that you just sent him into a panic while you proceeded to chase him down an alley? Do you think he's going to ask if would like to join him for tea and crumpets while you casually discuss the impact of global warming? Kiss you? Propose to you? WHAT IS YOUR LOGIC?! I just don't understand. The moral of the story: don't chase people - it's creepy, and wrong.

I could go on, but to save myself from turning this into a hate-thread, I'm just to offer a few tips to my fellow fans that will hopefully aid in diluting future situations and minimizing our psycho-reputation:

1) If you are lucky enough to have a conversation with him, good for you. And I'm jealous. But please keep in mind that this does not make you instant friends. Rob was not giving you "the look", and he was not trying to get you back to his hotel room. Take it for what it was, Rob being the sweetheart that he is and giving you a moment of his time. Period.

2) Do not ask him to have your babies. Enough said.

3) Don't hate on Kristen, she's a cool chick. An incredibly lucky, makes me want to live a day in her life, cool chick. Just because she's kissing on RP does not mean you should send her deaths threats. FYI: it's called ACTING. (And yes I know, the shippers will beg to differ, but I'm not even going to start on that one).

4) Know your limits. Seeing Rob on a fluke in an elevator and striking up a few minutes of small talk with him - OKAY! Riding an elevator for hours and hours in hopes that Rob will enter - NOT OKAY!

Just respect the guy, k?